October 14, 2014

Details C10.01

after lunch free play fall dresser work and warm breezes groggy mornings dusty mantle sunday lunch at her perch working piles (his, her's, and mine) family fun daily collections

I've been thinking a lot about balance, an enviable state that I never seem to be any good at reaching. We've been pushing any semblance of balance in our household to its absolute limit. It seems there's much to say about being a stay-at-home parent, a work-at-home parent, a parent who chooses to identify as stay-at-home (for a whole variety of reasons; personal, practical, political), but does also do outside work. However seeing as we are passing by 2AM, and I will likely get my first wake-up call in a mere three hours, for now I will just say that I feel like I have the best, and the worst, of both worlds. 

James and I are scrambling equally to stay on top of everything, juggle the basic household chores, and take good care of the babes... and we do talk about balance.It sounds good, but I'm not even certain it's something we are striving for right now. Maybe not all phases of life are supposed to feel balanced. Maybe there are years, or decades, that swing to one extreme before ultimately correcting. 

I was feeling really low last week, and a colleague, who also has two small children, took me aside to ask how I was able to look and sound so pulled together when he was tearing his hair out. It was such a shock, and a much needed sprinkle of flattery. It's amazing how critical we can be of ourselves, and also how much impact a few generous words can have. 

We are working more deliberately in our own family these days, to be kind to ourselves and one another. Pushing our limits might be worthwhile, but it does also mean cutting a good bit of slack in all directions. 

Thanks so much to those of you who continue to visit me here, share in a few words and pictures, and offer so much encouragement, advice, and support in the comments here and via email. And with that, good night!


  1. Oh, Lilly, this post was so beautiful! It is so true, what you've put into words. I think balance is so hard to reach and especially with young children. It is definitely a pendulum that swings extremely from side to side when you are caring for such little people. And personally speaking, the balance was completely lacking only a year ago. You guys will get there, give it time. You're an amazing mother and blogger, photographer and I'm sure teacher. The fact that you even make time to update your blog (and in such a genuine, beautiful way) speaks volumes. Thank you for sharing with us!

  2. I think the key is not so much in finding balance, as always striving for balance. Thus far in my life I've never had a day when everything fell into place perfectly-- there are just too many variables when you combine 5 lives (my husband and our 3 kids). But I do find that as long as we are trying to find a balance between all the moving parts, we operate rather well, if that makes sense.... I don't think its symmetry so much as symbiosis, you know?

  3. I have just recently noticed glimpses of balance, around the time my little one turned 3. But a year or two ago I was asking my husband how we can be so inefficient, to the point of daily life being a complete blur. Between the kids crying, fighting, not sleeping, meals, chores, etc it felt like I was merely surviving and trying to stay afloat. Maybe there is a correlation between a child's independence and a parent's balance. It has been nice finding a bit of peaceful balance again, as I'm sure you will too shortly.

  4. I enjoyed your lovely pictures, as always. Your home is beautiful. And the photo booth pics are so sweet! I don't think I ever felt I achieved any balance when I worked full-time. Even now, working from home I don't always feel "balanced" but it's much better!!