June 25, 2012

Alone Time


Most of my days are spent hanging out with my little boy, entertaining him and listening to his non-stop babbling and giggling. They are pretty close to perfection. I have never spent more time laughing, never been so proud of what I accomplish each day, and never had a job that was so much fun, but there are moments when I struggle just to hear my own thoughts. 

I now realize that there were all of these little opportunities built into my pre-baby life, time to wander in my own head space, that are just gone. Standing in a crowded subway car, walking to the office, shopping for groceries, grabbing some lunch, going to the bathroom... everything accomplished easily and in silence.

Little Smith is a champion sleeper but a difficult napper. Until he was nine months old every single nap he took was with me, strapped in a carrier or nestled in my arms. I cherish my memories of those snugly days, but it was also exhausting. I would lie down with him but still feel tired. I didn't actually realize it at the time, but I was drained from the simple lack of time alone.

Now we do get a nap or two (almost) every day. Often I do chores or work, but there are days when I drop everything and drink in the peace. I read, I listen to the whirr of the ceiling fan and the cars on the road, and I let my mind drift. Sometimes I feel lazy, guilty that it's a Wednesday afternoon and the world is working while I sink into my pillow... but the more I indulge in this time to myself the more I realize its importance.

I also do love when Little Smith breaks the silence, waking up and calling 'mama' so that we can babble and sing our way through another very loud and busy afternoon. I'm so lucky to have my toddling partner who makes sure I never feel lonely, and also lucky to be able carve out just a little time to be alone.


9 comments:

  1. Our life needs balance, and it's perfectly fine to let yourself to be lazy. There is time to play, and there is time to rest. It took me some time and actually my then little son to understand, when my 3 years old brought me a pillow and said: "mommy needs some rest, mommy is tired", and wouldn't let anyone bother me for about 10 minutes or so. It was an eye opening experience: kids need me rested too! Since then I find "me" time to sink into my own world... :)
    Great post!

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  2. Alone time is sooooo important-- for everyone, but for parents especially. If mommy & daddy are happy, the children are happy. So wonderful that you've figured that out early-- make alone time part of your routine & keep it-- life & parenting will only get more hectic {& wonderful} as time goes on!

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  3. I agree with Tabetha. It's great that you have figured this out so early on. You NEED that time to yourself to prioritize and think straight! :)

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  4. i really enjoyed reading this post -- you sound so happy and content...and i know exactly what you mean by that silence...that alone time. i struggled with that, especially at around 4pm-ish...and then i realised that that was the time at school when all the kids had gone, the parents had left and most of the school was empty and there was that silence. that pure, beautiful silence when you could just exhale. that time doesn't come around very often anymore! (but you're right, it's so important to take some time.)

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  5. I am so glad you posted this today! I have been feeling so completely overwhelmed and not getting any sort of alone time (well I guess I am right now!) lately. I love these pictures! And your bedding! And your white dress!!!

    And... and... and of course that gorgeous little boy.

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  6. Boy is this familiar! Alone time is not an easy thing to find around here, either. Quiet is even less present. I love the pictures of Wyatt "catching" you having alone time :)

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  7. Hehe, I love "quite time" and "alone time". We have been blessed with a great napper and sleeper, so I always make sure to indulge in some me time every single day.

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  8. This sounds like my everyday :-) Judah is actually a champion sleeper (at night) and nap time. Im waiting for him to wake up right now. I do miss the early days of when he needed to be near me to nap. I would make sure I was propped up on the couch or bed and let him halfway sleep on my lap while I crochet or read a book. Now he is so independent and perfectly fine sleeping on his own, makes my heart sad sometimes but I know its a good thing for us both.

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  9. Ah, alone time is such a luxury when there's a little one around!!! Some days I'm hard on myself about doing chores during Audrey's naps, and others I just lay around the entire time and do NOTHING, and it's so amazing. Everybody needs alone time in their head. :)

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