July 10, 2015

Then and Now


I finally located the box that contained my computer, and this is what I found. Snapshots from three weeks ago, or more. No evidence of boxes piled high or giant dust bunnies unearthed in previously hidden corners or beloved stenciled walls painted into oblivion. Moving has been rough, in no small part due to various travel and work commitments that ruthlessly stole big chunks of our precious time. We made some choices that probably weren't wise, but they are behind us... and so is our long loved apartment that I documented so thoroughly here. It's painful to look back at pictures of a 'home' that no longer exists when we haven't yet had the time to establish our new house as any home. We are still in boxes, paint on the walls and locked Pinterest boards holding the promise of a really lovely place for our family... we just aren't there yet.

The shift has been tough on the kids, who both seem to be every bit the 'nesters' that their mother is. We need the safety of a home base to bolster daily adventures in the wide open world, and we've all felt fragile and cranky... and like watching old Mr. Rogers episodes for generous blocks of the day. 

James has been burning the candle at both ends, but aside from some serious sleep deprivation, is far more pragmatic in his attitude towards the move. 'Nothing is how I want it to be', I say... 'We just moved', he says... 'I just want it to look like a real house', I say... 'I give us 'till September', he says... 'September?!? No way am I living like this until September! Get your drill and meet me upstairs!', I say... 'I'll give you an hour', he says... and that is pretty much a transcript of us at 10PM every weeknight for the last two weeks. I'm hoping to snag his attention for a whole week-end in the near future, and really get some shiz done!

Pictures will come. I thought I would want to document the transition, but I'm finding that I need the chaos to be slightly more reigned in before I can relax enough to want to lay eyes on my camera. I can't bring myself to go back to our old place, it's not how I want to remember it... and I am feeling similarly about the pile of boxes that fill my current living space. If I don't take a picture, in a week they will be gone, and then they never existed. Some transformations just don't need a record.

I miss this journal a lot, miss the archive of the kids growing... Roo is a whole different creature, so spunky and verbal and very deserving of a dedicated blog post. Here's hoping, my virtual friends! 

4 comments:

  1. There is a reason moving is considered one of the great human stressors. Relax and do what you can when you can and it will be all set before you know it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree... some transformations don't need documentation. Transitions are so hard, Lilly. Hang in there. Before you know it, that place will home. You always do such an amazing job with spaces! Thank you for taking the time to post during such a crazy time. Thinking of you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sending love. Moving is the pits. Just know that you are not alone and that it will come together and one day you will look around and finally be able to take a deep breath. I suppose that the other thing about owning a home is that it is never "done" but that is probably NOT what you want to hear right now... so sending good vibes and patience your way. xo melissa

    ReplyDelete
  4. After we moved I vowed to never move again. It is HORRIBLE! And I couldn't help but think of your lovely stenciled wall myself. But I just think you are going to do amazing things in your own lovely home too. And in a year's time it will feel like you've always been there. Can't wait to see it all! :)

    ReplyDelete