I'm still stumbling through my days, always trying to get more done and perpetually puzzled at what exactly is keeping me so far behind in everything. There is so much I want to share here, photos to download, events to document, words to find. Little Smith started preschool and it just may be the cutest thing ever. He also moved into his new room and it's such a sweet space. We've been baking but rarely pausing to take pictures. We've been stealing a long walk every evening instead of making dinner, eating leftovers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because those last few minutes of daylight are too precious to part with.
I have lists, endless lists on paper and in my phone and floating through my mind constantly... Not just the obvious chores that we can never get ahead of, but also projects; food I'd like to cook, knitting I want to start, design work I should follow through on, laying floor on the screen porch, building a bench for our back hall, starting on Halloween costumes, and spending more time here, tending to this space that I truly treasure. I want to be the kind of woman who gets things done and still has time reflect on all of it.
Then another day slips away, and I'm not sure what I've really accomplished except change a diaper, read a story, nurse my baby, prepare my son a meal, lay down with her, curl up with him, again and again and again... so nothing gets done. And I know that's exactly what needs to be done, but I'm frustrated and exhausted and ridiculously happy all at once.
I'm not certain if that rhythm I've been searching for will be found. I'll keep trying, little by little.