July 1, 2013

Backyard BBQ + A Bit About Baby


I have been struggling with a case of the nerves as we get close to the point in this pregnancy where my blood pressure jumped in the last one. We decided to prescribe a big dose of relaxation for this past week-end. Very little was accomplished, which was a big change of pace and much needed. 

The boys went to the garden and picked garlic scapes and peas and greens for us to enjoy, we brought Little Smith to his very first movie in a real theater (a special showing of Earth which he absolutely loved), and we filled up the kiddie pool and splashed and put our feet up and barbecued in our little yard.

Then came my appointment with the midwife this morning... and my blood pressure was high. Not insanely high (as it was when I was ultimately forced to induce last time), but high enough that it was more than nerves and set off the alarms- literally. I spent the better part of the day in the hospital, getting my blood pressure monitored in various positions and waiting for a bunch of lab work. Happily I was released for the time being, and I get at least a few days before the next dreaded blood pressure check. I'm holding out hope that things stay steady, and this baby girl gets a few more weeks to grow inside my belly.

Of course I'm grateful that I'm coming up on 35 weeks and the baby is in a place where she can be delivered safely, I know so many people struggle with much earlier births and far more serious situations. Still, I am feeling very blue about it all. I want more time... to be pregnant, to grow a healthy baby, to spend quality time with my baby boy and my husband. These thoughts aren't productive and I realize it's not where I should be putting my mental energy, but at the moment I can't help it, I'm just a little sad.

So I will be spending the next few days thinking low blood pressure thoughts, showering Little Smith with my undivided attention, sleeping as much as I can, and taking lots of deep breaths. Hopefully this will just be a little bump, and everything will end up going smoothly. Ultimately what is meant to be will be, and I know how lucky I am. I'm still working to surrender to my lack of control. That's always been a hard learned lesson for me, but I'm getting there.

16 comments:

  1. Oh, no, Lilly! No need to feel badly about feeling sad. I can only imagine... I used to play a little trick on my mind regarding keeping those babies cooking (but for me, it was more of a trick to feel better about not wanting to be pregnant anymore). One day at a time, I would visualize the baby growing just a bit larger and stronger. It sounds silly, but it made me feel better.

    Spending the day in the hospital is depressing no matter what, so I'm sorry you had to go through all the monitoring and tests. It sounds like you are trying to stay positive, though. I'm thinking of you! Hugs!

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  2. Oh no:( I hope that it goes down in the next couple of days - I'm sure you are disappointed in something that you have no control over. Good luck in the days and weeks to come... in the end you will have a beautiful baby, but I do hope that she can wait just a tad longer.

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  3. Sending you warm thoughts. I know that feeling - that's it too early, too soon. But a healthy babe and a healthy mama have to over-ride all else. Be strong. Jen x

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  4. Is it possible to take a blood pressure medication? I did that the last few weeks of my pregnancy and it definitely worked.

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    1. That's a very good question Lauren. I do remember it coming up with my last pregnancy, and that the doctors who were put in charge of my case were against it this late in pregnancy with no pre-existing bp issue... not sure exactly why though. I'll certainly ask again at my next appointment! Awesome that you were able to get a strategy that worked for you. Thanks!

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    2. I can't remember what mine was called, but I know it was safe for baby. Although I think it definitely had a medical effect, I think it also had a big psychological effect which helped me to not freak out. I too dreaded getting my bp taken and it was always (always!) higher at the doctor's office then at home. So frustrating!

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    3. I know, I always feel my heart racing as they take my blood pressure, it's like a test! I think that last time the increase was so great that they thought it was a precursor for Preeclampsia, so maybe that's why they didn't want to mask it with medication. It might be an option this time though, I'm going to ask.

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  5. Sending lots of good, normal blood pressure vibes. :) Hugs, Mama!

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  6. thinking of you and hoping that little miss smith stays put just that little bit longer. x

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  7. Sorry you are feeling sad and your blood pressure is elevated. I am sure your little gal will get some more time to "brew." Thinking about you, Jo.

    Looks like those boys are taking good care of you. :)

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  8. I´ll cross my fingers that everything works out as smoothly as possible, just focus on those things you counted and relax as much as you can. :-)

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  9. Sending you low low pressure and some more weeks of cooking! Have you ever heard of EFT? Emotional Freedom Technique? You can watch YouTube videos of it. I PROMISE promise PROMISE it works soooo well. If you can find someone to coach you in person before your next test ... even better.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcVlY

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  10. I can understand your sadness and feelings of helplessness and wanting to keep the pregnancy going. I gave birth at 34 weeks and 36 weeks with my children - the pregnancies went almost exactly the same. It is amazing how our bodies are. My body doesn't want to to go full term. But, in the end, 2 extremely healthy babies. I hope you get a few more weeks to relax and cook that baby girl.

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  11. It is so OK to feel sad - just let yourself feel it and try not to be too hard on yourself. Pregnancy is a tumultuous time no matter what. We're all rooting for you. Everything will work out!

    xo
    cortnie

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  12. Sending so many low blood pressure thoughts your way. I know our midwives suggested to me (for if my sister gets pregnant again...she's had high blood pressure toward the end of both of her pregnancies as well) taking cal-mag, but I wonder if that was more as a preventative measure from the get-go or if it would be worth looking into further along as well.

    Regardless, I hope you are able to relax. I know it can be especially hard when you want to be up getting things done and doing them yourself...and taking care of a toddler, but take those moments when you can sneak them in. Hard to believe your healthy and strong little girl will be here soon. :)

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  13. Gorgeous bbq pictures! Everything looks divine. I hope you can get that blood pressure back down. I know how hard bed rest is, and I know a busy mama like you can't really afford it. Good thoughts/positive vibes/prayers are being sent your way!

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