June 15, 2012

Thirties


Lately when I see new pictures of myself, I'm startled by how old I look. I'm thirty-four and I do know that isn't old, especially with most of my friends who also spent their entire twenties in school. We're a late blooming bunch when it comes to growing up. Still, now solidly in my thirties and with a kid on my hip, I don't really feel (or look!) young anymore.

When I was eleven years old my favorite TV show was Thitrysomething. I can't say why but I was obsessed with Hope and Michael and their arts-and-crafts house, ever in need of repair. I remember visiting my father and telling him that I wanted to rush back from a dinner out because I needed to see my show, Thirtysomething. He told me I should be watching Elevensomething, but we got back in time to see it anyway.


Years later when I was in college, I happened to catch the pilot episode of the show again. It felt nostalgic to watch, but also made me laugh. There was essentially no plot, the big tearful drama being whether or not Hope and Michael could bare to leave their baby with a sitter and go on a camping trip with friends. Why had this been so captivating to a pre-teen me? Also, had I really thought that men in vests, high waisted pants, and suspenders was a good thing?!


Fast forward to last spring when I discovered Thirtysomething was available on Netflix and decided it would be fun to see it again now that I actually am thirty something. I put my then seven month old baby to bed, poured a glass of wine... and proceeded to bawl my eyes out from the moment the opening credits started. Of course it was the greatest dilemma of all time whether or not to leave your baby with a sitter and enjoy a camping trip with friends. Clearly the internal debate over returning to a successful career or staying at home with a child is the most important issue ever captured on video... and vests, high waisted pants, and suspenders... totally sexy on men!

So I guess maybe I have more in common with the eleven year old me than the twenty year old one, or maybe everything just cycles around until it fits all over again. I still do feel like a bit of a kid, like someone is going to come over and open up my refrigerator and demote me back to twenty something for not having my act together.


I may not be a certified grown up, but I am a wife and a mother, and I do have well earned circles and wrinkles... and even the occasional gray hair. I'm sure every decade has it's unique beauty, but I am willing to bet that the thirties are the sweet spot for me... and I think I knew they would be even when I was eleven.


13 comments:

  1. Beautiful photos.

    I am 33 and I remember seeing people who were 'in their 30s' when I was a teenager and thinking, "Man, they're old..." But now I am here and I totally don't feel old. Will I ever? I sure hope not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Briana, I am 35 which years ago seemed very mature! Now I am here it certainly doesn't feel old. As you say, every stage is unique and we are only as old as we feel :) Lovely photos too!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am 32... I think? Oh my gosh I totally just forgot how old I was!

    Anyway, you don't look a day over 25! And I personally LOVE crow's feet. I am secretly really proud of mine. It means you smile a lot, right?! I actually love my thirties more than I loved my twenties!

    ReplyDelete
  4. you look fabulous at 34. i'm going to be 38 this year...eeeeep! do you know how close to 40 that is?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is lovely! Every word. I adore the beautiful photos as well. You look precious. Young and vibrant with a heavy side of wisdom–as it should be.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm turning 32 this year and I share so many of your sentiments. I love this post. I also love how this posts turns the www into a safe place for all of us to share how old we are. so it is true age is but a number...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love this because of how open, and honest you are. Plus I think we were very similar children. I swear I was born 42 and have struggled my entire life to fit into what "childish" trends I was suppose to embrace. Anyway. Great post, beautiful face and fine recommendation. I'm totally going to find that on Netflix tonight!

    xx
    J

    ReplyDelete
  8. The only thing I ever REALLY wanted to be when I was little was an adult. Now, I have many of the trappings of adulthood but I still feel like I'm about eight years old and I'm going to get in trouble for staying up late.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are so pretty that you make the 30s look like a breeze! I really love my 30s. I feel so much smarter and more together than I did in my 20s. I felt like such a crazy mess and never really felt at home with myself then. And I am looking forward to wrinkles. I want my wrinkles when I'm old to be a reminder that I've had a really kickass life and had the privilege to make it to an old age.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My 30's were awesome, but I gotta tell ya, the 40's are turning in to a whole new level of fantastic. Enjoy it, it just gets better!

    ReplyDelete
  11. You look beautiful! You remind me so much of Keri Russell from Felicity. Remember that show? I find it hard to believe I'm 40, rather than 20, but I feel I know what I like better now anyway, and I'm trying to enjoy each day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was just thinking the other day that I'm starting to look old... and I'm 25. Not old, I guess, but mature. Which seems startling. It creeps up! I found some pictures the other day from a few years ago, and was blown away by how different I looked then. I'm looking forward to my thirties! You look great; you're aging with grace!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hello, I've just come across your lovely blog (I'm now your newest follower), and have to say that, at 34, you look truly beautiful. What a wonderful thing to embrace ageing, because let's face it, the alternative is dying! Kellie xx

    ReplyDelete