As
I'm getting more invested in this journaling or blog, it's interesting to me
that I spend so much time thinking of us all as Smith's. I've only been a Smith
for three and a half of my thirty-three years and it has taken me some time
(and probably a baby) to really connect to it.
My maiden name is far less common and I was somewhat conflicted about
becoming a Smith for the simple reason that it's just so simple. The many
incredible and strong women in my own family were not shy about letting me know
they thought I should keep my own name. Their point was that it's an antiquated
custom and that I am my own person and shouldn't change my name for anyone. I
still chose to take the Smith amongst some very loud opposition. For me the
whole appeal of a marriage was to participate in a series of traditions.
Obviously I was deeply in love so I don't mean the relationship was about a
tradition, just the act of marrying. I'm not very religious, I don't care much
about the piece of paper, what appealed to me most was the ritual and part of
that ritual in my culture is changing that last name.
june 28, 2008
Maybe it's because my own parents were hippies and took vows in a castle
in Ireland officiated by a priestess, exchanging tiger-claw necklaces in lieu
of rings. It sounds magical and it probably was, but when I decided to get
married I had this yearning for more structure and tradition to connect to
whatever it is that my mother was probably rebelling against.
I
truly don't feel any less independent without my maiden name. I know changing
your name is becoming less common, at least in this part of the country. Most
of my friends haven't taken their husbands names and it works for them. For me
though I'm almost always happy with my choice to make the switch, and in
a weird way, it does make me feel like more of a family that we share this
name. I know it's stupid, but I do feel it.
So here we are the Smith family, for better or worse.
Being
a Smith does have it's challenges. I actually love names and think they tell
you something about a person. When Little Smith came along we scratched our
heads to find baby names that weren't super crazy but also were individual
enough to stand up against such a plain Jane surname. We started talking about
it long before we actually planned to have a child and I still collect names I
like (mostly girl names!) and run them by Big Smith for the reserves... just in
case... cause you never know!
For
whatever reason, I do like the anonymity of not using our first names all the
time. However for anyone who has been curious enough to read this far, you will
now be rewarded with first names of our little clan.
*edited to remove our names, see the footnote.
I have not read Harry Potter (I know!) but I have been told by many
people that James and Lilly are Harry's parent's names and no, we did not
consider Harry and yes, that was suggested... more than a few times. :)
p.s.
As I wrote this Big Smith was in our office trying to figure out the sewing
machine I've been struggling with. He's been in there for a loong time. He
could not be less interested in sewing. If that's not worth a name change I
don't know what is!
*The original version of this post got deleted for a bunch of reasons... mostly just that search engines were bringing up these pictures right away when our names were searched and it was a little awkward picturing every person I casually encounter easily stumbling upon these intimate(ish) thoughts. Sadly the sweet comments were also deleted (boo for not understanding blogger). It is a post that I like though, and actually the one most read by whopping numbers... you guys are curious about our names! I've re-posted it but the names are now gone. Don't worry, I mention them a lot of other places on this blog so if you're super curious check those archives or email me at projectlittlesmith@gmail.com and I'll fill you in!
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